Update! Our photoshoot for the app went great! You will see some updated branding that is a better reflection of us soon. The responses from people have been so inspiring to push forward. The support of friends, family, strangers and people who are normally pessimists has been overwhelming. Every single day the passion increases and the structure falls into place more and more.
Now that you have all been bombarded by info about updates and how excited I am and photoshoots and prototypes, etc., I want to start focusing these posts on specific topics that can be helpful to you now. This first one is based around knowing your dating apps, knowing how to debunk the fakes and how to make sure you aren’t WASTING YOUR TIME. Time is the most precious commodity to me, personally. You can’t get more of it, like you can money, and it can really affect your life.
People can be really, really great at first. Actually, I think that many people can be really, really great over time, too! But first impressions aren’t always as telling as we would like them to be – especially over a dating app and especially before we meet them. Here’s some food for thought, to help you make some good judgement calls.
- Do they sound like a robot?
- This one is obvious to notice but it’s also worth mentioning because it’s sometimes a little more subtle. But are they saying anything related to your profile or are they clearly copy/pasting their way to a first date? If you’ve been talking for a week, even if it’s good conversation, but they never mention the dog that you state is “Everything to you.”, you might have someone who talks too much and listens too little on your hands. Basically, is what they are saying contextual? Could this conversation exist, in parallel, with someone else easily?
- Can you tell which one they are?
- This one really gets my goat. Are there ONLY group photos of all the same people? Is it hard to tell who they are? This is not only annoying but it’s a very good indication of how ambiguous the rest of it could be. A person like this won’t be making up their mind about when or where to meet up anytime soon either. You shouldn’t have to pull teeth to find out basic information such as, “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??”.
- Do they recognize you/ care?
- Have you matched on more than 1 dating app and they don’t even realize it? That kind of thing doesn’t exactly make me feel special. Unless my photos are way different from dating site to dating site, I just unmatch the person.
Now here are a few more serious ones to look out for:
- Check for integrity.
- To check for honesty, ask a question and then later ask the same question but phrased differently. Do things line up? A trivial detail might not line up but if they have a different career from one day to the next, you could be dealing with someone who ain’t quite right.
- Unusual favors or requests to meet up privately first.
- People who are up to something(bad) sometimes think through really good excuses for this. Don’t let a good excuse draw you in. Stand your ground and trust your gut.
- Don’t accept gifts before meeting.
- This could lead to a “good” reason to get your home or work address. No bueno.
- Avoidance in meeting for awhile.
- Do they keep coming up with excuse after excuse to not see you? We all get busy but if you are being strung along for months, consider calling it quits.
- Use the “report abuse” button in the app.
- Don’t just unmatch or block them – If you know something is fishy, report them to prevent other people from wasting their time or getting into a bad situation.
- Talk of a struggle for money.
- This can be innocent but it can also be a red flag. Watch out for this as a common theme to avoid being coerced into an uncomfortable situation. No one wants to pay their own rent, let alone some rando’s.
Those are some of the things that annoy me or worry me the most. I’m sure I’ll be dropping some more in here later on. When Tinder came out, I was dating way too much. I’ll leave to your imagination on how much that is, but I’ve seen things that I didn’t think people really did. I thought it was all made up. And I’m a straight guy. I definitely have it the easiest – I’m aware of this. The stories I hear from my friends who are women and/or in the LGBT community baffle me.
My intention for this information and the app that I put out is meant to put you in a place where you can feel confident to date and not to fear it. To enjoy it and have some new knowledge in the back of your head that makes you think twice in potentially bad situations. Preventative stuff so you don’t waste your time with some bozo.
See you next week!
And if you haven’t seen what we’re doing on Instagram and Facebook, feel free to click these guys: